We recently came across this lovely piece - unfortunately the author is unknown.
When I Wander
When I wander, don’t tell me to come and sit down. Wander with me. It may be because I’m hungry, thirsty, need the toilet. Or maybe I just need to stretch my legs.
When I call for my mother (even though I’m 90!) don’t tell me she has died. Reassure me, cuddle me, ask me about her. It may be that I’m looking for the security my mother once gave me.
When I shout out, please don’t ask me to be quiet, or walk by, I am trying to tell you something, but have difficulty in telling you what. Be patient. Try to find out, I may be in pain.
When I become agitated or appear angry, please don’t reach for the drugs first. I am trying to tell you something, it may be too hot, too bright, too noisy. Or it may be because I miss my loved ones. Try to find out first.
When I don’t eat my dinner or drink my tea, it may be because I’ve forgotten how to. Show me what to do, remind me, it may be just that I need to hold my knife and fork again, I may know what to do then.
When I push you away while you are trying to help me wash or get dressed, maybe it’s because I have forgotten what you have said. Keep telling me what you are doing over and over and over. Maybe others will think you are the one that needs the help!
With all my thoughts and maybes, perhaps it will be you who reaches my thoughts, understands my fears and will make me feel safe. Maybe it will be you who I need to thank.
If only I knew how.
There comes a time for many families when a loved one can no longer be cared for at home. Choosing to put a family member into a Nursing home is a huge decision for a family to make, none more so than a family whose loved one has Dementia. How can you explain to a person that they are being brought to live in a new place, possibly being taken from the home they’ve known most of their adult lives.
We see this a lot in Beech Lodge. But let us provide reassurance. The vast majority of times they do settle in, very well. It usually takes a week or two for a person to get used to the routine of Beech Lodge, to find a friend or two and to get involved in our activities, but everyone does settle eventually.
There are a few things that a family can do to help their loved one settle, bring them familiar items from home, such as pictures, give the care staff lots of information about their likes and dislikes, and visit often but for short periods.
But we can say with confidence that this transition may be harder for you than it ever will be for your loved one, and in Beech Lodge your family member will be given excellent care.